A good leader listens to diverse opinions and tries to include all of them into the plan… however, there are times in which to be a good leader, you must nod, smile and then throw away all these nonsensical opinions…
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For example, leading in motherhood. This is probably one of those positions in which as a leader the expectations are so high that no one will ever reach them. No matter what you do, there is always someone sharing thoughts and knowledge of how “it should be done”. Even if these people are not leaders themselves!
[bctt tweet=”Don’t get me wrong, I believe a lot of what people say can be helpful (sometimes) but isn’t parenthood about messing up constantly? ” username=”@PaulinaLaramx”]
Ok, it may sound a bit dramatic, but what I am trying to tell you, is that I discovered that it does not matter the country, you will be expected to be wonderful, but also to stink at the job. You will receive a lot of feedback, read pamphlets, books, blogs and whatsapp messages, but in the end you will do what your own instinct tells you -and lets pray it is the educated “right” decision, because you don’t wanna scar the kid for life!-.
Last March I became a mother of a huge, 55 cm, almost 4 kilos boy. And even before his birth I was already learning how things are different from country to country. To begin with, as a Mexican, I wanted the child to be named like in my country, that means the kid has his father’s surname and his mother’s surname in the second place.
I think is somewhat nice that my family name stays a little bit longer in my descendants. It is quite funny how people get completely disturb by it! Now, it is not my fault that Lara is my father’s surname…but I guess that is what people do not get, it is not a middle name, it is a family name and yes, my son has it now, it comes after my husband’s family name. The great grandmother said she did not like how it sounded, but luckily is not her child, but mine.
A leader must make a choice.
Of course, I hope he doesn’t get bullied later for having a “girl sounding surname”…
In Mexico, when a baby is born you are supposed to cover him as much as you can, like a tiny chicken, must be nice and warm. This new world is cold and he will not know how to regulate the temperature. You must try to prepare a warm room to keep the tiny one safe from getting a cold. In Germany, babies must be covered yes, but they should sleep in a 16° room! I am sorry, but that is freaking cold for me! And the baby! I know my midwife is the expert and she told me to make the room fresh, leave the window wide open and let the newborn breath this air…
Of course, I open the window several times to let it new fresh air, but I would not believe that a baby would like to be in a 16° place after being in a wonderful 37° jacuzzi.
A leader must make a choice.
Depending on the weather I leave the window open…but only now in summer is actually needed… oh well, I hope my child does not have allergies for sleeping in a cozy room
As time goes by I keep encountering new ways to do things. And as a family leader, I do not throw everything to the bin, of course I listen and assess if what its been said will add value to my plan to implement it. For instance, in Mexico you bathe the baby every day. Since the first week after he’s born! Or course, not a long bath and there is a way to do it, not leaving the head too wet…but in Germany you should not bathe him until the navel cord is gone! That is a long time without removing dirt from the little one, however
A leader must make a choice
I was happy to wait, and now I only hope my son does not learn this for life and keep showering only once a week during his teenage years…
As a leader, as an international one, you have to respect all these diverse options, opinions, and be able to make choices that will help you achieve a bigger goal. You might mess up, people around you might criticize you, but also most of them will see the effort it takes to be in your place. And I think internationally, because my family is taking the best and the worst from both cultures. We need to lead taking into consideration more than just a few expert tips, but also make decisions in terms of education and where to leave a leaway.
Next time you need to step up as the head of a project, remember to listen to every opinion and try to include all of them into the plan… but when the time comes, remember,
A leader must make a choice:
just nod, smile and then throw away all these nonsensical opinions…